How can I miss somebody so much and have no rational or logical explanation for where they are or in what capacity they still exist - if at all. What happens when somebody’s heart stops beating and their body goes cold and ceases to function as before? What happens to the essence of them, their soul, their spirit, their uniqueness, their life?

The fact that I could go to the most intelligent, wise, knowledgeable and most reassuring human in the world and still not have an answer to my tormented questions is almost more than I can live with.

I don’t want it to be a mystery or something changeable dependent on opinion or beliefs, I want to know for certain and I can’t.

Why did you have to go somewhere where I can’t follow you or conceive of?